Divorce is a trying time for anyone, but few suffer more than children caught in the middle of a marital dispute. You would do anything for your child, and you can not bear to be away from him or her. If you are in the middle of a divorce, you may be apprehensive about your former spouse requesting full custody of your children. Here are five facts about divorce and child custody that can help ease the already massive strain by allowing you to understand the custody process.
1. Best Interest
In any custody dispute, divorce courts use a legal standard that places priority on the "best interest" of the child, based on a judge's subjective summation of each parent's health, emotional state, and ability to provide care, guidance and resources. In cases where one parent is not clearly favored over the other, the court will decide based on each parent's ability to provide a stable environment. In the case of very young children, this might mean giving custody to the child's primary caregiver. In older children, it can mean the parent who is best able to provide educational, communal, and religious resources to the child.
2. Multiple Custody Options
"Joint" or partial custody is one of the most frequently awarded types of custody by divorce courts. Joint custody can take several different forms. For instance joint physical custody means that the child spends significant time with each parent. Legal custody means that parents share responsibilities in making major decisions in the child's life, such as choosing medical treatments, deciding on the best educational opportunity for the child, and decisions regarding the child's religious affiliation. Parents who are willing and able to work with each other to share custody frequently arrange a custody arrangement that serves all parties' best interests.
3. No Preference Between Mothers and Fathers
In the past, most state divorce courts had in place a "tender years" requirement that meant custody of a child under the age of five would be awarded to the mother. This has since been rejected in nearly every state. Now, the courts will examine the fitness of both parents before making a decision. There is a gender stereotype that women in general have more time and a greater inclination to properly care for the child, but fathers who seek custody should not let this stand in their way.
4. Visitation: Reasonable and Fair
Even if a parent does not hold physical or legal custody of the child, the parent can often gain visitation rights to see their child in a manner that is 'reasonable' and 'fair'. Generally, the parent who holds custody is free to determine what is reasonable or fair, so it is in both parents best interests to cooperate and make sure the child has sufficient time with each parent.
5. Parenting Plans Can Help
Divorce is hard, but you might be able to minimize the impact to your child, and minimize your own stress by having a detailed plan for custody and visitation. Understand that no matter what happened between you and your former spouse, your child should come first. Cooperate to create a detailed parenting plan to minimize disputes and ensure custody and visitation is fair to all parties involved.
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